Consent and Sex

Great sex happens when everyone is having fun and feels safe. That means we need to check in with our partners before, during, and after any sexual activity. This includes sharing photos, making videos, or doing BDSM.

What Is Consent?

Consent is:

• Enthusiastic. A hard “yes,” not “I don’t know.”
  
• Active. Said with words—silence is not consent.
  
• Clear. Not assumed by actions or clothes.
  
• Sober. Not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  
• Ongoing. Checked at each step, open to changes, and can be stopped at any time.
  
• Voluntary. Given freely, not forced or pressured.
  

Sometimes people feel pushed to say yes. You do not have to. From accepting a drink or giving your number, to sucking and fucking—you always get to say no. And if someone says no to you, you must respect that.

Remember: Victims are never to blame for sexual violence. The person who does wrong is responsible, no matter what precautions someone took.

Talking About Consent

Asking for consent can feel awkward at first, but it helps everyone have better sex. It’s a chance to learn what turns your partner on and share your own needs.

“Needs” can include access needs, too. For example, you might need a break during sex or your partner might need to avoid strong smells.

Phrases You Can Use

• “Are you into this?”
  
• “Is this OK?”
  
• “Can I kiss you?”
  
• “Is it OK if I touch you there?”
  
• “Do you have any access needs?”
  
• “This isn’t working for me. Can we try something else?”
  
• “I need a break for a bit.”
  
• “What would you like next?”
  

Stay curious, speak up, and always get that enthusiastic yes before you go ahead.