Finding Sex

Online

You can meet people on dating sites, apps, or social media.

• Decide about disclosure: Put your gender identity in your profile or share it later. You can always change it.
  
• Learn the lingo: Ask what words mean if you’re not sure.
  
• Set your boundaries: Tell matches what you do and don’t want (for example, using condoms, dams, or gloves). Practice saying it so you feel ready.
  
• Meet safely: Pick a public spot first, like a café. Let a friend know where you’re going, or have someone on call if you need help.
  

Bars and Clubs

Any bar—gay, straight, mixed—can be a place to meet people.

• Stick with friends: Talk about signals you’ll use if someone crosses a line. Check in at the end of the night.
  
• Plan your night: Think ahead about safer-sex supplies.
  
• Watch your drinks: Never leave them alone.
  
• Find a quiet spot: If the music is too loud, step outside or into the bathroom to chat.
  
• Know the rules: Some venues kick you out if they catch you having sex on site.
  

Cruising

Cruising is using eye contact, gestures, or quiet words to show interest in sex. It can happen in parks, washrooms, clubs, or parties.

• Read signals: A glance, a nod, or moving closer can mean “yes.” Breaking eye contact or turning away means “no.” You can always ask to be sure.
  
• Stay safe: Learn about any risks in the area (robberies, assaults). You could cruise with a friend and check on each other.
  
• Pack light: Carry your phone, some cash, and condoms. Let someone know where you are.
  
• Be discreet: Remember many spots have cameras or people watching.
  

Bathhouses, Clubs, and Parties

These can be fun places to explore sex with one or more partners.

• Check before you go: Call or look online for details—bathhouses that say “men only” may not welcome trans or non-binary folks. Ask about dress code, prices, and rules.
  
• Bring your own gear: Even if condoms and lube are free, you might like your own.
  
• Speak up: If there’s a problem, tell staff or reach out to a queer or trans group for support.
  

Travelling

Finding sex on the road takes some thought.

• Research laws: Check local rules on gay rights, BDSM, and sex work.
  
• Learn local language: Body signals can mean different things in different places.
  
• Stay safe: If a place feels risky, it’s okay to say no.
  
• Pack smart: Bring only what you need—safer-sex supplies, meds, or a note from your doctor about your prescriptions or transition.
  

No matter where you look for sex, trust your gut instinct, set clear limits, and keep your friends in the loop. You deserve fun, consent, and safety every step of the way!