Making Sex Safer

Let’s talk about ways to keep sex fun and safer. We’ll cover why safer sex can miss the mark in real life, easy strategies to try, and the items you might stash for your next adventure.

Why Safer Sex Isn’t Always Easy

“Safer sex” means lowering your chance of getting or passing on STIs while still having a good time. But sometimes we miss our own standards because:

• We feel vulnerable or too invincible.
  
• We’re drunk or high.
  
• We don’t know what tests or barriers we need.
  
• We settle for whatever sex we can get instead of what we really want.
  
• We want barrier-free sex but aren’t sure how to ask.
  

If you regret a choice, forgive yourself. We’re all learning to care better for our bodies.

Simple Safer Sex Strategies

1. Learn and share. Read reliable articles and chat with trans and non-binary peers. Start at:
   1. https://www.catie.ca/safer-sex-guide-0
   2. https://www.actioncanadashr.org/resources/sexual-health-hub/sexually-transmitted-infections/tips-safer-sex
   3. https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/sti/safer-sex-tips/
      
2. Pillow talk. Ask yourself and partners what safer sex looks like for you—before things heat up.
   
3. Set boundaries. Tell partners what you will and won’t do. See Consent and Sex.
   
4. Make an agreement. You might agree to use condoms outside your main relationship but skip them inside it. Check in often.
   
5. Know your status. When everyone knows their STI status, including HIV status, you can make better choices. See Get tested regularly.
   
6. Get your mpox vaccine. Mpox (monkeypox) can be in some sexual networks. Learn more and book an appointment at your local Public Health unit.
   

Stocking Your Safer Sex Stash

• External condoms. Slip these on any insertable—flesh cocks, strap-ons, or toys.
  
• Internal condoms. Sometimes called “female condoms,” these fit inside the front hole, vagina, or ass.
  
• Dams. Thin sheets for oral sex on ass, front hole, or vagina. Great during periods.
  
• Gloves & finger cots. Protect cuts, tattoos, or eczema when you finger fuck or fist.
  
• Lube. Cuts from friction can let STIs in. If you’re using lube, be sure to only use water- or silicone-based lube with latex condoms to prevent STBBIs. Don’t use oil-based lube, as it degrades latex. In general, the more lube, the better. This especially applies to anal sex.”
  

PrEP and PEP

PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) and PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis) are pills that prevent HIV infection.

• PrEP
  
  • Take it at least 20 days before front-hole sex or 7 days before anal sex.
    
  • Then keep taking it every day.
    
  • Find PrEP through your local HIV group or provider.
    
• PEP
  
  • Take it as soon as you can—no more than 72 hours after possible exposure.
    
  • Stay on it for 28 days.
    
  • Get it at an emergency department and ask for PEP in Pocket (PIP) if you think you’ll need it more than once a year.
    

Help with cost: Programs like PrEPStart and the Non-Insured Health Benefits program can cover some or all costs. See the PrEP/PEP Providers section of Resources.

Remember: PrEP and PEP only stop HIV. To prevent other STIs, keep using barriers and get tested often—throat, ass, and front-hole swabs included.

For more information, check out our articles on PEP and PrEP.

DoxyPEP & DoxyPrEP

• DoxyPEP means taking the antibiotic doxycycline within 72 hours (ideally within 24) after condomless sex to prevent syphilis, chlamydia, and possibly gonorrhea. It works well in cis men and trans women but may not protect cis women or trans men.
  

DoxyPrEP means taking doxycycline before sex to prevent bacterial STIs. Evidence is limited for trans men, so talk to your provider first.

Be proactive for your well-being. You’re in charge of your pleasure and your health!

For more information, check out our article on DoxyPEP.