Transitioning to Sober Sex
If you’ve been used to Party and Play (PnP), switching to sober sex can feel unfamiliar—even a little dull at first. But with a few simple shifts, you can rediscover pleasure, connection, and fun without substances.
What to Expect
Crystal meth boosts dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, so sex without it may feel less intense at first. Also, think about where you usually hook up—bathhouses, PnP parties, or cruising apps can trigger cravings. If those spaces feel tough right now, it’s okay to take a break until you feel more grounded.
Reflect on Your Needs
Ask yourself:
- Can I enjoy sober sex right now?
- When did it start feeling difficult?
- Do I have beliefs about my body or worth that make me nervous?
Also consider why you want to try sober sex—whether it’s for health, curiosity, or balance. Knowing your reason helps you stay focused when cravings pop up.
Build Your Pleasure Toolkit
Sober sex can be just as exciting when you explore new ways to connect:
- Think back to a time sober sex felt good—what helped?
- Notice what turns you on when you’re not high (porn, fantasies, positions)
- Surround yourself with people and places that make you feel safe and accepted
These tools help you feel more confident and in control.
Learn from Others
Check out our videos:
- Dylan shares his journey toward sober sex
Have Questions? We’re Here to Help!
Other articles in Making Changes
Drug Use
Drug Information
Clear information about commonly used recreational drugs to support you in staying informed in any setting.
Overdose Prevention
Learn how to recognize and respond to common overdose emergencies, because your actions can save a life.
PnP and Mental Health
Learn how drugs can influence your mood and thinking, and how to respond when things take a turn—including episodes of psychosis.
Video Stories
This section features interviews with guys who party n'play discussing their journeys and sharing their thoughts on everything from sex & racism to how they push back against stigma.
Partying Safely
Partying safely is about having the right combination of self-awareness, self-advocacy and self-respect, and putting these into practice whenever you're using drugs.
Making Changes
Making changes to our use of drugs can feel....overwhelming, but you don't have to do it alone. This section helps you uncover what change means for you and how to get the support you need.
Drugs & Your Healthcare
Your relationship with your doctor should be one of trust, mutual respect, and honesty - this section covers what you need to do in order to get the healthcare you need, and how to address when you're not.
Additional Tools
Calendar of Events